As I took a breath and started walking down the long staircase towards my future, I never would have imagined the hurt and pain I was actually walking towards. Three years later, the life I had created came unraveled.
Justin and I met in high school while working together at a local grocery store. Feelings for each other started developing fast and soon I was head over heels with Justin. We decided to move in together right out of high school. Things were great, but we were being pressured by his mother to get married because we were living “in sin” being unwed. By the end of our first year of living together, we were wed and seemed to have a bright future ahead of us.
Money was tight and we started incurring debt rapidly. It seemed like ends would never meet and the arguing ensued. It became more intense and lasted longer. Sometimes he would corner me, never hit and never really used violent words, but would not let me leave to cool down or get away from the fighting. This went on for a year and a half to two years. The talk of divorce came up several times in our discussions, but I was not ready to give up on our relationship or him. Something deep in me said to hang on, things will get better.
Things never got better; they ended up getting much worse. We moved to a house in another city, and things started going out of control. He started calling me vulgar names, telling me I was not good enough, grabbing my wrist, and even started pushing me around. After two months of this, I had had enough. The final straw was when I found a message from a strange girl on his phone. Although Justin had hidden the message from this girl under a guys name, there was still a personal signature was in the text. The text didn’t suggest anything sexual, but I asked him about it. He responded in violence; violent enough for me to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out until after he had left. I packed my bags and left for my sister’s house.
I prayed the entire weekend on what I should do. Do I stay, because I truly loved Justin, or do I leave? As I was praying one night, I had a peace come over me, and I knew what I had to do. When I came home, I told Justin that it was time we went are separate ways.
Two weeks later, I was living in my own apartment with my bother and things started looking up. I truly don’t know how I would have made it through this ordeal without the guidance of my good Lord, family and friends. God held a hand over me and led me to the peace that I am feeling today.